We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
