You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I love you.
Bad choice
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