i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
