Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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