Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
