I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
