dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
