there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
