Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
