just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
