I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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