my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
