Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
