Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
