the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My cat gives me a boner
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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