How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
