I just cut my nipple shaving
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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