at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
