Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Randomize
