girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
