Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
