Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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