What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
