i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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