All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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