Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
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