Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
