Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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