I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
