I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
