just come out here and I will go home with you...
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
it was like having sex with a tree stump
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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