I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I lost the right to judge tonight
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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