My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize
