my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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