How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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