this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
