My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
