we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I'm both gender and math confused
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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