If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
