halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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