I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
