we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
