capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
