this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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