I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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