how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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