dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
