Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We don't watch enough power rangers
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
