Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I didn't notice because vodka
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
