Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
