oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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